1. Take off most of my clothes because negotiating over the phone makes me pretty sweaty.
2. Call my mom. Call my dad. Text my brother. IM my fiance-in-law. IM my boyfriend. IM my friend Patrick. Email my friend Katie. Update Facebook.
3. Google "how long to wait before updating LinkedIn with new job." (The forums are all over the board, but most say sometime in the first two weeks of new employment, in case you were wondering.)
4. Eat a bagel.
1. Be a total sad sack and ruin plans with people who are trying to be nice to me.
2. Lie on top of my bed and check my email every four to six minutes.
3. Fantasize about contingency plans in the case I don't get a job. This can include ideas such as:
4. Start using Twitter.
Last year I modeled for Lu. which is enormously cool on two different levels:
1. Lu. has amazing clothes, great style and a founder I adore.
2. I get to have a set of pictures where my skin is photoshopped into glow-y perfection.
Pic by A. J. Ragrasa. You can check out his whole Lu. shoot here.
The whole experience was pretty exciting. I'm not really a real model (strapping on a fake baby bump and posing for zulily notwithstanding), but I think I've always wanted to be on some level because I like having my makeup done for me and I like wearing clothes I could never afford and I like not smiling at the camera. In my mind, these are the top three qualities every model must have. Notice how body shape/size does not make it to the top three. This is probably why I'm not a real model.
This shoot was done by Will Miller. You should most certainly check him out.
Now that the whole Lu. site is up and the photographers are sharing their pictures and I get to look at everything together, I miss my long hair, even though it kind of felt like a blanket on top of my head.
Last one!
Also by A.J. Ragasa
I'm supposed to call to learn about my promo code?
Remember he of Weezer fame? My efforts are from left to right. A regular old Benjamin Button.
Birth - 18: Ack. Gross. "I associate the smell of coffee brewing with going to the airport early in the morning. I associate going to the airport early in the morning with vomiting. Thus, according to the transitive property of congruence, I associate the smell of coffee brewing with vomiting." Does it have a brownie blended into it? Okay, fine, maybe. Just maybe though. I'm not making any promises.
18 - 20: Iced coffee? With cream and those raw sugar packets that don't exactly melt so you can suck up the crystals through a straw and crunch on 'em? WHO KNEW LIFE COULD BE THIS GOOD? I AM SO EXCITED! I AM SO AWAKE! WANNA CHAT? WANNA BE MY FRIEND? WANNA STAY UP ALL NIGHT STUDYING THE DATES OF GREAT WORKS IN ART HISTORY AND ALSO TELL OUR SECRETS? YOU DO? ME TOO!!!!
21: Lattes. Enough said.
22-24: Still lattes. If a toasty beverage could be a crystal ball that showed my future, it would be a latte and my future would be a velvety pillow of whole milk. I don't need anything else. I tried needing something else, but I kept getting headaches and taking afternoon naps so I went back to lattes.
25 (summer): Cold brew. All of the cold brew. All of the day. What's that, a caffeine-induced heart murmur?
25 (winter): Latte again. Baby girl can't shake her foamy milk. But cool girls drink Americanos right? And the coolest girls just drink drip, black, hot, and bad. Liking bad coffee: 2013 New Year's resolution.
26 - present: I have attempted to attack my two goals (liking black coffee and liking shitty coffee) from dueling angles. On the black coffee front, I have my brother craft me a cup of hand-ground, small-batch Kuma Coffee pour-over with just the lightest splash of cream, not too much! Ooo so smooth. For shitty coffee, I am currently hooked on bad lattes from grocery stores. So cheap! So bitter! GOALS, YE SHALL BE CRUSHED.
The formidable Katie Christian requires one to reflect as well as project come each New Year. Last year's reflections included:
Turns out when you don't do much in a year, you end up grasping at straws. Yes, deleting friends from Facebook made the list. So did not dying.
This year turned out to be much more eventful, with actual landmarks and notable events. I had to divide each line of 2013 reflections into two lines! And 2014 is already here and I'm still trying to figure out what to do with myself, but I think I've bulleted out a good start.
That same Katie also inspired me with her resolution to buy a watch and an alarm clock to cut (some of) the ties to her cell phone. Amazing goal! RESOLUTE!
What are some of yours?
I am now 100% a person who puts on pants with a stretchy waistband the second I walk through my front door.
Contracting a difficult-to-diagnose autoimmune disease
Becoming so addicted to my mascara that I refuse to be seen without it
Being mesmerized by the headlights of oncoming cars at night and, like a moth to the flame, driving into them
Bedsores
Being wrongfully convicted of a serious crime
Getting engaged to someone I later realize I don't want to be engaged to and then having to break it off way too close to the wedding date
Contracting any type of worm or parasite that comes out of your anus
Being videotaped expressing a dumb opinion after being stopped on the street and then seeing it aired on the local evening news
