1. Be a total sad sack and ruin plans with people who are trying to be nice to me.
2. Lie on top of my bed and check my email every four to six minutes.
3. Fantasize about contingency plans in the case I don't get a job. This can include ideas such as:
- Become an occupational therapist!
- Become a full-time freelancer!
- Get married to someone with lots of money!
- Lose 12 to 18 pounds and try to be a super model.
4. Start using Twitter.