Hold all bowel movements

Drink tea that has gotten very cold

Pull all the covers off my bed so as to scootch my phone, which is sitting on a pillow at the head of the bed, closer to me

Use that phone to call someone else in the house to bring me warmer tea

Only read the page of the newspaper that I have folded to so as not to rustle the pages too loudly

Sneeze sort of up into my head as opposed to out through my nose to reduce sound and movement

Ignore that itch on my foot

Ignore that itch that has traveled to my ankle

Say no to spooning with my boyfriend

Slap my boyfriend's hand when he tries to pet her

Glower when my boyfriend attempts to annoy her into waking up and getting off my lap

Refuse to spoon anyway

Answer phone interviews in a quiet, soothing tone

Thank HR representatives who turn me down from jobs in a quiet, soothing tone

Ignore that itch that has traveled to my calf

Turn off the lights

Go to sleep