4 Times I Was a Maternity Model Although I Was Not Pregnant

Yoga Mom

Inspiration: Imagining if Gwenyth Paltrow was pregnant. Imagining if Madonna was pregnant. Imagining if The Mona Lisa was pregnant.

What I learned: Sitting cross-legged at 8 months is probably not going to happen, even if your belly is strapped on with Velcro. I don't care how bendy you are from yoga.

Suburban Beachwalk Mom

Inspiration: Getting ready to suntan my imaginary stretchmarks. Lording over other moms that my pregnancy never affected my thighs/ass. 

What I learned: Maternity denim is way more comfortable than regular denim. Why can't all jeans have a stretchy jersey waistband?

Serenely Expecting Mom

Inspiration: Was that a kick? Oh look up there! What a pretty hummingbird feeder.

What I learned: Pregnancy horomones do wonders for a girl's hair. JUST KIDDING! It's all curlers and mousse.

Late Dinner at Sorella Mom

Inspiration: You should see how big my boobs are now. I splurged on a $47 lace maternity thong. My swollen ankles don't hurt a bit when you look at me like that.

What I learned: Wrap dresses are the asnwer to any question I have ever had.